It’s not just the amount of sex or violence, or even how explicit it is. It’s how grotesquely inappropriate it is—with jokes predicated on everything from pedophilia to domestic abuse to drug-pushing priests to 9-year-olds dropping the f-word. Malcolm sexually manhandles—repeatedly and graphically—the doll.
Audience Reviews
Somehow, everybody is okay, but Malcolm and Ray leave an unconscious Kisha in the backseat and run away. A Haunted House 2 was apparently designed, like its putrid predecessor, to be a comedy. But it’s about as enjoyable as liver-flavored gummy bears, and it made me laugh about as often as listening to other people’s numbers getting called at the DMV. Agouhl tries to kill several folks, some by hanging, some by drowning, some by burning. The devilish deeds always double back on the demon, though, causing it to fall from a tree, catch fire and get pummeled with a pool-cleaning net. A possessed Malcolm contorts into horribly uncomfortable positions (one of which prompts him to give himself oral sex).
Watch Now
He’s naked all the while (seen from the side and rear) he mimics a whole host of sexual positions and acts. The doll later sexts him, sending photos of her wooden self in various states of undress. (We see her “nipples.”) It’s insinuated that Ned also plans on sexually assailing the doll. The movie rolls together several different paranormal tropes very well, and given some very short re-writes could have been a rather complex leg... Besides Cedric the Entertainer, who is a very funny stand-up comedian who can act (see "Barbershop"), "A Haunted House 2" also wastes the talents of veteran Kym Whitley and Gabriel Iglesias.
Movie Reviews
Some of the stuff I’ve found funny would curl your hair and probably make you pray for me. As a parody of found footage movies, 2013’s "A Haunted House" offered the potential for a scene like this. I learned there is no need to see "A Haunted House" unless you desire a marginally better version of the material that pollutes "A Haunted House 2." This time, the main target of parody is "Sinister," though jabs at "Insidious" are also present.
‘A Haunted House 2’ Conjures Up Improvisation - Variety
‘A Haunted House 2’ Conjures Up Improvisation.
Posted: Thu, 17 Apr 2014 07:00:00 GMT [source]
Malcolm finds himself being terrorized and taunted by Abigail, as he is getting sent crude photos from her to his phone. Later, Malcolm sees a box moving in the dark and begins to attack it in every possible way he can. Megan and the kids run downstairs and tell Malcolm that what was in the box was supposed to be a surprise for him to make up for Shiloh Jr. Malcolm reaches into the box and pulls out a horribly mangled dog.
Otherwise, A Haunted House 2 is a fetid foundation that begs to be condemned. There are a couple of laughs to be found in A Haunted House 2.
It’s certainly likely to be among the worst movies in wide release this year, but it’s far from the most hateable, and that should count for something. Whenever I watch found footage horror movies, I hope for a scene where the ghost/creature/whatever suddenly grabs the camera and starts shooting its own footage. Because if you’re stupid enough to continue recording when crap hits the fan, you deserve to die horribly and with better cinematography. The ghost will give me a better, less shaky look at the terrible things it’s doing to the deserving victim.
Crude or Profane Language
In conclusion, if you're in the mood for a horror-comedy with plenty of laughs and scares, be sure to Watch A Haunted House 2 Online. A few observational gags deliver, but all the doll-humping and chicken-slaughtering will haunt you for days. "A Haunted House 2″ is the kind of film that gives lowbrow comedy a bad name. It's just like the original, screamingly stupid. Malcolm resorts to seeking help from the insane Father Doug Williams. He finds the crazy priest in a church, shanking another priest for absurd reasons.
Malcolm calls upon Doug to come by, but he has a mental breakdown along with the ghost possessing him and ends up shooting himself in the head. After some reluctance, he gets the demon to transfer itself to himself by having Becky regurgitate red goo. Everybody runs upstairs to find Malcolm possessed (who then gets beat up). The Swansons take the possessed items, including Abigail so Ned can have sex with her.
Unless you've seen every awful horror flick of the past five years, you won't even get the jokes. I was, in other words, literally paid to see this one. I can’t actually imagine any other reason why someone would go. Scads of other profanities include “a‑‑,” “b‑‑ch,” “d‑‑n,” “h‑‑‑” and “p‑‑‑.” The n-word gets ruthlessly exercised. God’s name is misused at least two-dozen times (four or five times with “d‑‑n”), and Jesus’ is abused once or twice.
He tries getting rid of her by burying her, sending her to Taiwan, chopping her up and barbecuing her, but she comes back each time. Additionally, Becky finds an old box and develops an attachment to it, and Wyatt continues to hang out with his imaginary friend. Malcolm seeks help from a paranormal psychologist named Professor Wilde. He deduces that Malcolm must have had a previous encounter with a demonic force. Wilde then proceeds to cook meth with some prostitutes, but then gets arrested by the police.
'A Haunted House 2' Will Spoof 'Insidious,' 'The Conjuring,' 'Sinister' and More... - Bloody Disgusting
'A Haunted House 2' Will Spoof 'Insidious,' 'The Conjuring,' 'Sinister' and More....
Posted: Tue, 25 Jun 2013 07:00:00 GMT [source]
He then takes a shotgun and blows its head off to put it out of its misery. Megan then puts a creepy looking doll named Abigail on a chair by their bed. Malcolm messes around with it until he starts having sex with it. Malcolm carries his camera around to record everything he sees. He meets the neighbor, Miguel, who jumps at every chance he gets to call Malcolm racist whenever he comments on something related to a Mexican stereotype, though all of it is in jest. Malcolm records himself having sex with Megan and notices the Abigail doll turning its head.
As a last resort, Malcolm goes to find Ned and Noreen Swanson, a sort of racist and sexually frustrated paranormal investigative husband and wife duo. He brings them to his house, where they determine that the demonic presence has attracted the family to it, explaining Becky's need for the box, Wyatt's imaginary friend, and Malcolm's sexual attraction to Abigail. They take hits from a bong mask and go downstairs to find Becky fully possessed.
The rooster’s facial reaction to Wayans’ attempt to destroy it (which you can also see in the commercials) is the only laugh to be had in "A Haunted House 2." A spoof of all the "found-footage/documentary style" films released in recent years. Malcolm Johnson and his cousin Ray-Ray are driving Malcolm's possessed girlfriend Kisha to the hospital after he beat her senseless for trying to attack him. Kisha starts making a fuss and fights Malcolm, then breathes into Ray's face.
Why did I need to see scene after unfunny scene of Wayans nakedly humping a creepy children’s doll (there must be 10 minutes of this footage)? Who gives a damn what movie it’s supposed to be parodying? He could be playing Richard Pryor instead of doing this. Among other weird scenarios that plague the family is Becky opening her box and having a whole swarm of moths fly out. Malcolm fixes this by installing bug zappers to attract the moths to their doom. He also notices the demon, which Professor Wilde says is named Aghoul, taunting him in the videos.
There are a few jokes that just run too long, but over all the jokes are pretty funny and consistent, even doing call backs. I'll easily watch anything with Jaime Lee Pressly in it, but Marlon Wayans is kind of the big treat in this. One of the reasons I liked the first movie is that they got back to the spirit of the original "Scary Movie" franchise before they took it from the Wayans. This moronic, witless, unbearably mirth-free mess finds Wayans endlessly mining ethnic stereotypes then mocking them for supposed humor. The movie feels relentlessly overwrought and never quite knows how to deliver its outrageous shtick in broad doses.
No comments:
Post a Comment